I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
