I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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