Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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