So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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