ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
