They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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