she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
