anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize