I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
