Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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