That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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