yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
