so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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