i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
This is my gift to your gina
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
