We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
