I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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