about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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