Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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