no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
