tell your sister to shave her snatch
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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