Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
there's paper in my vomit.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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