my sisters under your porch take her home
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
