in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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