i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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