I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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