Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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