There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize