i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
