Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize