I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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