There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Your cock deserves a montage
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
