The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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