I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
