wanna go halves on a baby?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
