This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
