I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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