with your own penis?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my shit smells like andre
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
