I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I don't deserve a penis
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize