Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i think i just lost a toe