Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.