I want to make a zoo with you.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs