Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
