i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
