Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
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