I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
