I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
