Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
