We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
