I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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