You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
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I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
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He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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