He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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