I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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