just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize