Plan B is the new Plan A
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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