Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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