I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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