I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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