Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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