very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
