ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
