Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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