Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
