Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
