Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
