is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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