Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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