theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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