My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
