i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
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