you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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